So Lallapalooza kicked ass.
so so so many good shows. very addictive. concerts i mean. i love music so much...NIN in Cleveland on Oct. 9; kick ASS. I'm pumped. I really need a computer and internet of my own because I hate having to be limited on time.
I'm really melancholy right now. Work is okay. So much shit just falls apart in the rest of my life though. That, or things you want, good things; that you HAVE even. (okay that I have) I don't have entirely because there are elements that get in the way.
I feel like my path in life has been totally shaken and I have to find a trail under the rubble. I'm working on it. I'm procrastinating though. and my memory is so bad lately. jez is like my mother when it comes to knowing when I work and things I need to get done. She has to tell me things i forget all the time. Makes me feel a little crippled but I'm really going to try harder at it. I think it's because; with all the crap and stress and negativity and problems that happened all at once (like usual, worse than ever before though so this time I couldn't shut everyone out and try dealing alone) I needed to be taken care of and safe so other aspects of my life that I am responsible for became less independent and more crutching onto stronger people. If that makes sense. Anyway I pretty much ended up surrendering and admitting I needed some support and love; which, i figured out, i never do. or haven't for years. Complications. Issues. anyway.
I'm going to try putting some pics on here now from my camera phone.