So I just now scrolled through some of my archives and discovered comments I hadn't read before. He really needs to pick up a hobbie. I really don't need the attention, thanks... and really you should ask yourself why you take the time to #1 read, and then are inclined to use your energy and time to #2 comment. I appreciate feedback, insight, criticism and so forth but it's a bit sad that you still 'care' enough to be curious and things I say effect you enough to spark a response. and not even a response but just empty insults or accusations and mainly based on self-centered ASSUMPTIONS that you have a clue of who or what I'm talking about or that it even has anything to do with any part of the life YOU know. There's a difference between reclusion versus rearranging and sorting people and life-momentous views, by the way. I understand your curiousity etc. in the things I'm saying or thinking but your motives for why you want to know I BELIEVE (correct me if I'm wrong) are simply to search for some type of fuel for your fire; more reasons to try and tell me all about myself and things I've fucked up. I mean it's GREAT that you're so wise that you only need the bare minimum facts, conversations, thoughts, or feelings to unravel the entirety of things in people's lives whom you have NOT been a part of for some time. And OF course you would assume that what I'm saying must have something to do with SOMETHING you know of. Why wouldn't it. I mean really, why do YOU think you even bother? I'm done with that life, I've grown from all of those things, people and so on; and I too have been guilty of letting the curiousity take over but I did get to a point where I refused to let myself anymore because by taking time to read pieces of other people's lives you aren't in and ended on a sour note; you're not letting yourself really let go of that even though it's also impossible to ever BE part of that again EITHER. It's just the common human difficulty of letting go of the past. Most people don't just throw it out and start over, it fades, tapers, and eventually stays a memory. Best remembered for the lessons that point in life taught you and learning not to repeat mistakes you or those around you made that caused strain or pain in life. I suppose that could be it, and I don't really hold it against you; maybe you're just not to that point yet. I mean I pray to God your motives aren't bitter, negative attempts to show ME something about myself by the same, repeated insults that have absolutely no substance or backbone. And ALSO carry with them the idea that you may believe you are showing me something I either don't already know or something of me in which you are certain yet I, (being ME) was unaware of. That would be extreme and I'm sure it's not the case but IN CASE that was in mind I can save you time and tell you it won't work. Something to think about, that perhaps may not have crossed your mind. I hold no bitterness towards anyone from my past that may have hurt me. BUT, and this may be the shocker, I also have no regrets of my past; because each part led me here and it's true, I like to take to hard way sometimes. My dad always told me that, right-o daddy. And you know what? I'm thankful for the things I've learned from you and others like you that stand on the opposite side of the burned bridge. I can keep those lessons and I even hope that those from past relationships, regardless of the bitterness they may hold, have learned something from me that they didn't know before, that shows them maybe just a bit more of all infinite parts of life. Something beneficial...even if it's slight. I'm happy to grow past it though; my desire to mend, understand, or debate anything in regards to my past is virtually gone. So I hope you get to that point and just move on. peace.