Snowshine

So, I had yesterday off. Showed up to work and was almost immediately sent home due to the weather. Went the The Royal Mile and had some drinks with my boss and coworker/friend. Interesting the was comfort zones appear out of the blue with liquid courage sometimes. I find it hard to keep myself to myself when others seem so comfortable just saying how things are in their points of view; i have to remind myself to shut up sometimes. even that doesn't always work. So i stayed their until about 9:30 when I planned on leaving at 7. But first of all, I didn't want to drive in this crap and I was having a pretty good time. A couple friends showed up. well, new old friends... They seem to spend a lot of time together from what I gather. They are, possibly a repitition of something familiar I once knew...
We fall back into things.
we...understand.
I'm about to get in the shower and ready for work. I'm not drinking at all for a month after this next weekend; starting Monday. Just for fun. I'm not drinking for a month for fun.
Jez moves in this weekend also. i have Friday off but she won't be in town yet; so i will spend the day cleaning and organizing closets and things. Preperation. I didn't volunteer this last Sunday at all; I didn't leave the house in fact... I ordered Chinese and layed around. my place is a mess. I think about Angels in America a lot lately...apparently though, everyone's diseased and dying these days. Some have names to put faces on, some have disregard and time, some have no words, no terms, no ideas but it's still there just the same, formed differently. I'm not sure if that sounds hopeless, because I'm far from a hopeless person...it's just an observation..we just have to...think differently.
that's all.
but that would take too much work for most of us. but I think that if we really wanted to...we could all change our views of life and hows and whys of events.
who knows. i'm just a goof anyway.

one thing I know about people in my life though; i can see taht not all have the best of intentions...and being aware of how they work makes me safer...makes me immune to them in ways because I can see what they're doing whether i play along or not.
on the other hand i see those with the best of intentions; and those with no intentions at all...not sure which of the three of these is the worst or if it even matters. because intentions...become invalid don't they? not meaning to do, say, end up, affect others in a certain way...well...it depends I suppose...on what you learn from your experiences.
I have problems with repitition.
I repeat again.
but I plan to wipe that slate clean and decondition...if that's a word...i'm just a bit introverted and introspective today...not much feeling in here...just thoughts and contemplation and observation. just a detatched snowshiney day.