There's one hell of a party going on in the other rooms of the house I am currently inhabiting (at this moment). I am at the computer of course. "don't let Kara get on the computer she'll never come back out to hang".... wonder why that is. maybe because 97.6% of the people out there I either; don't know, don't like; can't stand; or would rather forget exist in the same time and place as myself. but i don't hate any of them. i just do not feel a common place with them. I feel comfortable with most environments (including this) that I place myself in but due to my own morality, mortality, and self conservation, I choose to under indulge in the moments of the evening that eagerly ask for my indulgence. because I know better these days....i know more. i think that most of you put yourselves in these places...wherever the place may be...more consistently and more eagerly and more accepting than i could even fathom these days; in the ways i have become...but i don't hold that against anyone; it is just that some people care more to alter, better, or change their states. I was stood up for tonight by someone who is, for the most part, passive, passive-aggressive, feeble to a point, and entirely terrified of confrontation....but it is that fact that I
was important enough in his eyes, for him to disregard his comfort zone and overcome his social fears to speak up for. To stand strong and unshaken....Like a true MAN, who shown strength, for possibly the first time in his life (in my eyes). I saw a light that had been hidden or maybe never given the chance to shine, in this man, and it made me smile. Although, being the person I am, I could easily stand and voice myself and be certain and strong enough to hold my own and fight for myself... the fact that he cares enough to WANT to be there if I could not do it on my own...It proves more worth to me; in him as a human being and a good friend. In a time where question is constant in my mind, and the thought of total surrender and acceptance that it could be a loss cause. You proved me wrong. I know how hard it was for you. in a room full of blind-willed "men", passionate for things they do not know....you held your weapon, and showed that you know more than their own impressions, imaginations, and presumptive persistence could deny. I don't know if this makes sense right now. but you had truth and purpose; and you stood up with your truth and your purpose, and they sat blindsided, with their intangible ridicule and empty expressions. Now i believe, and i saw it in their eyes as I laughed and walked away; that they will no longer insist on what they do not know. because truth wins; every time.