Can I just say that when I workout I workout pretty hard. Every day I do my 20 minute pilates routine in my living room which is meant to "sculpt" your body..then 3-4 of the 7 days in a week I come HERE to the gym of my apartment complex to work out on the machines. A year ago at this time I weighed about 225 lbs and I now weigh exactly 163 lbs..the majority of that weight loss started when I began working out more and eating less junk. I hardly eat junkfood at all anymore OR drink regular pop. I also started drinking water ALL the time (which I highly recommend)...recently when working out I would get tired really fast and want to quit sooner than normal. I have stressed at work more than normal and have been thinking a lot about my cousin's wedding. My mom took me clothes shopping about 3 weeks ago and bought me some new clothing...she kept asking about my weight and that I just needed to keep working on it...she never says good job for that or be careful or anything just "are you still losing weight?"...so we were in the mall and I have a GNC membership card because i get vitamins and iron pills there and sometimes their energy drinks or weird candy bars they sell their. We were looking at the new dietary supplements and this guy that works there told us about these new pills they have and how they work and yadda yadda...so I wanted to get them...so my mother bought them for me. I have been taking them before I work out in the gym each day that I come here...Lately I've been getting really moody and irritable...and feeling off kylter...I didn't know what was wrong...didn't say anything about those pills really to anyone because i would only think about them when I was getting dressed to come work out..then I'd remember. It wasn't my intetion to out right LIE about anything. So lastnight at work I was totally depressed, paranoid, didn't think anyone cared...didn't feel loved...had a panic attack in my car and drove home... I called my dad and he informed me of how bad those pills can be for a person who has tendencies towards depression or instability...I didn't know. So I stopped taking them. So then I get accused of having an eating disorder because I've been "not feeling well" when I eat lately...I didn't know why...also because I pee alot... anyway point is I DON'T have a problem here. I've stopped taking those stupid pills and believe me it wasn't hard...I don't want to be crazy! So I'm just going to keep working hard for myself and being healthy. I understand the concern and am not MAD that he thinks that or won't believe me...but at the same time it feels a bit unfair. I know I reacted hurtfully yesterday but mentally I was totally off balance...below I said "this isn't me" and it wasn't...I feel much better today after knowing what the Hell my problem was although I'm overwhelmed with guilt of accusing people of being heartless and not caring...guilt of lying...I didn't MEAN to be that way and it was totally unintentional but I don't think that's an excuse. so I'm being punished but I know I deserve it.
but I just wanted to clear that...
I'm fine
and will continue being HEALTHY...