I wonder if we all start out with the ability/capacity to be geniuses...or...my "view" of what genius is. It's true that we all have the ability to learn and grow and "expand" our minds as well as destroy, detatch, escape from, and devoid them. And most of us do a little of both...or a lot of the latter...lol. But when you DO screw up what you had...or what you COULD HAVE had...can you get it back? Or do you develop on a different scale there on out? Because you no longer have the same basis that you started with. You're left with a new one. But not fresh...just...new. If you screw it up PROFOUNDLY and semi-recover...do you have the ability to grow as much as you could have before? Or are you not even suppose to think of it that way at all...forget it and do what you can? Maybe. What if some internal faults are externally obvious...can you change those too? Not self esteem; that's not what I mean. Brain function; disfunction; nonfunction. If you can build yourself mentally in the general way still...which we all can of course...then can the "other" problems go away too? If not; does it even matter? What dictates intelligence? There are all these categories for certain smarts we have...all kinds. Some of us use one side of our brains more, some both more than "normal" some less than...all portioned out differently yet COMMON enough to be categorized. I know "normal" only exists on a societal scale. I don't care about normal. I do care about the importance of things. Significance. Why is the imagination boundless but intelligence not? Yet, in general, the more imagination you have the "smarter" you are. No matter what category your mind may be in...but...if other things factor in...irregularities, emotional instability...the mentality of genius is skewed. Intelligence without function/action is not intelligence at all? Because it's useless? Some of these questions in my head are obvious but I still get stuck on them... I want to go back to school. If I say I want something extrodinary then I am dreaming and escaping and "unrealistic"...there's something WRONG with that...like it's childish..."grow up Kara, this is the real world"
but weren't you just saying "anything is possible" ?
My parent's make me angry sometimes with their limited logic and...ignorance in ways. Parents in general seem to be that way though...
I want to go back to school so I need to make more money so I can actually SAVE MONEY if I can't get in on a full ride or am not covered entirely under student aide. But mostly so I can go to school Full Time when possible... and work parttime...
It's nearly perceptible.
I mean I CAN see it happening I am just so freaking impatient sometimes...and I know i need another job or a second job I'm just concerned with being miserable while I work at getting what I want... I don't want to be and I don't JUST want a new job for money; I want a better environment. Imagination and motivation can really be affected if your environment for most of your daily life reminds you of desperation and hospital beds... and you can't FIX that part of it you just float in it. I like the things in my head adn I LOVE the people in my life...but that's a big part of crappiness. lol...and if I could just fix THAT and make people really HAPPY that deserve it than I'm over half way there...but that's the step that's hard...MOVING...getting your "feet off the ground" taking a step...It's important. I have to figure this out. It will be good and the thought excites me :)